Station “NUTS” Calling

From “TUNE IN” October 1940

(Dedicated to all those brave souls called DXers who keep their lonely vigil in the silent watches of the night)

I gazed at “TUNE IN” with eyes shining bright,

And determined to try that very same night,

To log all the Yanks that “Notnats” reported.

So with ears straining hard the airwaves I courted.

But crackles and bangs were my miserable lot.

At the end of four hours ne’er a station I’d got.

But at last o’er my set came a wonderful change,

And stations came in from far distant range.

Mexicans, Cubans, Canadians and Yanks,

To the clerk of the weather I murmured my thanks

For at last turning on such a great night as this,

A DXer’s dream of radio bliss.

But though I wrote fast, the stations came faster

And my tired hand stopped as my frame shook with laughter.

For I pictured myself in my mind’s eye you see

A menace to “Notnats” a champion to be.

Then as the Yanks faded I turned to the west

And found the South Africans were by far the best.

I logged the stations from Cape Town to Dacca

By gum I can tell you the pace was a cracker.

I got dozens from Europe and then came the dawn

Which found this DXer dishevelled and worn.

My heart pounded hard as I took a quick look

And found I’d collected every call in the book.

So I sat back at last with a satisfied smile

And imagined I saw stretching out for a mile

A huge crowd of postmen, five hundred or more

Lined up in a queue which reached to my door.

Bringing me veries for my great DX work

When all of a sudden I came to with a jerk.

For faintly I heard a new signal, by gee,

Though the set was tuned in where no station should be.

Then the signal strength rose with a tremendous whack

And the shock was so great that I fell on my back.

My eyes opened wide and 1 sorrowfully saw

That I‘d fallen from bed and was flat on the floor.

My hope of a medal and championship cup

Faded away as I picked myself up.

I glared at the set which had served me so well

Then smashed in the works and I said “What the Hell”

My friends led me away to a nice padded cell

Which is the place where I nowadays dwell.

Believe me there’s buttons all over the wall

Each one I push brings me a new call.

So once more on the job I log stations galore

Each day I collect quite a hundred or more.

So come up and see me, ask the uniformed man,

For the World’s Champion DXer, that’s me, Dopey Dan.

RA910.

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